Oh my! What-a-day! My day began with the after affects of my procrastination. I’m beginning to realize that procrastination in my own words means, being lazy to get things done right at that moment…because that would mean being in touch with reality. I am so guilty of pushing away my responsibilities, of putting aside my demanding duties, and of letting…no allowing myself to fall into problems after problems.
Today began as a typical and dreaded Monday. I didn’t want to wake up early, even though my alarm kept bugging me. I made myself get up. I knew that it was going to be a hot day, so I needed to go out and get things done early before it got any hotter. It was one of days that I always dread. It always catches up to me. I procrastinated when the letter arrived. A letter stating that I needed to go to my daughter’s school, 2 weeks ago. I had pushed it aside and let my mind forget about it. I knew that I couldn’t ignore it anymore. My daughter would begin school tomorrow! Yup! I had called the school on Friday and had been told that she wouldn’t begin school until I personally came to the school to turn in all the required forms. I was so mad at the person on other end of the phone…but in reality, I was mad at myself! Today I rushed out of the house, missed my bus, and had to walk in the heat. I finally got to her school and got her new class schedule. Done! I had done what I needed to do, but I was kicking myself for allowing myself to be in that situation.
Procrastination and avoidance go hand-in-hand. I had made a decision to avoid a situation, which suited me just fine several weeks ago, but it accumulated interest. Just like placing my money in a savings account my procrastination grew into a massive, and stressful endeavor. My day began with raking in that interest, but it also ended the same way.
The day before my kids begin their new school year, I’m rushing myself in my home trying to remember what needs to be done. I could have gotten everything ready this past weekend, but my mind refused to face my responsibilities as a mother. I guess looking back at this weekend, my selfishness for indulgences blocks my ability to focus. I feel like such a failure! It’s not easy posting these inner most emotions and allowing anyone to view me in a disapproving way, but I’m glad to see the patterns in my life that are keeping me from succeeding. I’m beginning to see a slight glimmer of hope for me. I’m glad to know that good things will come up from exposing my faults in such a way. Fingers crossed, and with wishful eyes I’m hoping that tomorrow will be a better one!
*Procrastination brings a multitude of consequences.
*Balance responsibilities with self-indulgence.