6 days left

Day 359

WOW!!! I can’t believe it has been almost an entire year since I started this…WOW!

So much has happened…I’ve been so busy! I think my life is completely different from a year ago. I hope I can completely update you on the changes. During this past year, my biggest problem was PROCRASTINATION! It affected my life in so many ways. It spun my life into a huge mess. It was like gaining weight. Sometimes, you live with it little by little until you step back and notice what you gained. It creeps up on you until you no longer can control it, like sweeping the mess under a rug. You can try to hide or ignore the mess you’ve made, but YOU know that it’s there. Even if you convince yourself that it can be ignored the mess becomes so big that you end up being hurt by it.

I can honestly say that I’ve a grasp on my procrastination. I am so proud of myself. Life is so much easier when I don’t push my problems away. I rather deal with them up front than deal with the consequences. It’s so weird how I don’t know how it happened. I think I just got fed up with the mess at home. I felt I didn’t want to disappoint myself as well as my family. Oh as I’m writing this, I’ve come to a sudden realization why I’ve been able to get a hold on my procrastination. It was right before my birthday. I realized that I was still fat and I hadn’t accomplished my goal of losing the weight. I decided to start working out on June 24. I’ve been working out like crazy since then.

You wouldn’t believe how the simple act of working out can change your life. I used to hate sweating. I loved being lazy. I also hated being fat, so I had to force myself to change. I also realized that my daughter would soon start high school and I felt ashamed to be a fat mom. I didn’t want to embarrass her. So, I started working out and wouldn’t you know it the fat began to melt away. I also gained confidence, and more energy! Cleaning and organizing our home has become a habit. Working out has become a habit. I’m providing my kids/family with a healthier menu. I/We pray more! I look forward to each and every day, instead of dreading it. I even think that my kids and husband are looking at life a bit different now.

What else has occurred? Well, I enrolled my daughter into a nice high school near my husband’s work, almost 30 miles away. I’m still waiting for my other kids to get accepted into that school district. Once that happens, I can start looking for a job in that location. We are still on a waiting list for low-budget housing over there, so at this point…it’s in God’s hands. My oldest daughter has had many appointments/evaluations for her eyesight. Her eyesight is getting worse, and we hope our next appointment at the Children’s Hospital will give us hope that she won’t go blind. My son’s medical insurance has approved his oral surgery, but I’m dreading it…my poor baby. When you’re a parent life really sucks when you’re financially low on funds.

It is so easy to feel down and be depressed, but I don’t think I want to live like that (anymore).  Life is too short! So many people in my life have lost their lives, have fallen ill, or are just suffering too much. I would like to think that my kids will grow up seeing the beauty and hope of life. We are always surrounded by negative people and tragedies that we can easily fall into a pathetic way of living. It is in our mindset that makes us stronger!

P.S. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to continue this blog, but you can follow me on Instagram (ldrmommy). Maybe I’ll do something different for the next 365 days ;D

 

Today’s life lesson:

* Exercise is not only good for you body, but for your life too!

* Don’t just hope you will change, set a goal…it makes it more concrete.

* Fight for yourself today, so tomorrow will be easier…You are totally worth it!

* Life may suck around you, but at least YOUR life can still be beautiful…it’s all up to you!

* When everything fails…pray and be patient! Just because you want something NOW, you may not get it until YOU are ready. It may not even be in the form you asked for it.

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96 days left

Day 269

I can’t believe that it’s less than 100 days to the end of my journey. I think for a long time, I felt that I was going forward in life but never going anywhere or just going in circles. When I began this journey, I was motivated to push myself to grow stronger but I never realized how it would change my husband and my children.

I’ll be honest…in my mind, I felt my marriage had potential but was becoming lifeless. My husband had become so bitter and angry throughout all the years of financial issues, family problems, and lack of moving forward. He wasn’t the same person that I had married. I had also changed. I wasn’t the fun-loving, sweet, and care-free individual anymore. My kids have always been so sweet, but I realized that, unlike other kids, they never asked for anything for themselves. Even when we offered to buy them something, they accepted it in such an awkward way. I realized that they knew how poor we were that they held back asking for much. They were happy with hugs and kisses. I was proud of them for being so unselfish, but my heart broke.

We are still in a rut, but I feel like we are not letting our situation define who we are. I’m constantly surprised how much we are growing spiritually, emotionally, and physically. We are not church-going people but I strongly believe and love god. It was really hard learning to pray aloud with my family. It wasn’t a practice that neither my husband or I grew up with. I began praying during our family dinners and talk about awkward, lol. It almost started with the “thank you god for this grub, rub-a-dub-dub” kind of prayer. NOW, my kids and husband have really taken this time to better themselves. They pray for our family, and even our enemies.

Our family has been dealing with a bully messing with my son, and we are trying to learn to forgive and forget, but regardless of our efforts to help the other child we are learning to be grateful to have a loving family. I can see my family being closer together and finding time to spend quality time doing outdoor and indoor activities. I also found out that all of my 3 kids had weight issues, when they had their physical exams.

My oldest was at an ideal weight but was diagnosed with anemia and the probability of being blind from one eye. My son turned out to be obese. My little one was at borderline underweight. I felt I had failed them. I forced myself to stop dwelling on the negative.

My oldest daughter gone prescribed iron pills and she’s doing better. I have a scheduled eye specialist appointment at the end of the month. My son is losing weight and looking/feeling great. My youngest is really learning to eat more. We are so pro-active in our health that we are feeling pretty good as a strong family.

TODAY’S LESSONS:

* Even if we don’t see ourselves changing, little changes STILL count!

*Sometimes change means being a better you…DON’T be afraid of change!

*When others see your positive changes, don’t be surprise if others begin to follow your good example.

*Don’t dwell on the negative!

 

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123 days left

Day 242

Excuses! We all give ’em, right!? I know that I definitely do. I think that excuses and procrastination are like peanut butter-and-jelly. You can’t have one without the other, usually. I’ve noticed that excuses always seem to get in the way of being productive.

We get so busy with life that we don’t stop to look deep inside of ourselves. What is it that makes us tick? What are the reasons behind each and every decision? Yeah, it can be mind-boggling when you have to analyze every thought and action. It can also be exhausting and even feel trivial. It can probably be too time consuming. I’m not saying everyone should stop and think about everything all the time. If you have a great life and everything always goes the way you want it, then great you don’t have to agree with my point of view. What I’m saying is that I know that we get ourselves in these stupid non-productive cycles that suck the life out of us. I know that I get stuck in these ruts that I feel drained. I think that figuring out what gets you stuck and breaking the habit will liberate you to be a better individual.

I know that I make excuses why I can’t work out, why I can’t clean my home, why I can’t keep up with my paperwork…excuses, excuses, excuses! Yeah, it’s hard! You know why!? It means that I have criticize and take ownership of my own laziness! Well, I finally looked at my excuses and realized that they’re so stupid!

For example,

Problem: I couldn’t work out because I didn’t like how my fat ass looked in my current workout clothes (they were way too tight). Consequence: My excuse didn’t allow me to work out, so I kept gaining weight and kept feeling bad about myself.

Solution: I went and bought newer and better fitting clothes. Resolution: My need to take action allowed me to start running, so I’m now losing weight and feeling great about myself.

Take action against yourself! We’ve all heard of how we can be our biggest enemy…it’s true! Why compete with others? They’re always others that will be on the winning side. I would rather compete against myself and learn who I am, so as to better myself each and every time…I say that’s a WIN-WIN situation!

Today’s Lessons:

* Find your excuses and turn them around.

* Being successful means being a better you.

* Problems should always have a solution, so find it!

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158 days left

Day 207

How different life can be on a weekday versus a weekend!!!

I added a new app on my cellphone. Just like many apps, it allows me to input my weight gain/loss. My priority was to make me accountable for my weight-loss goal, but I noticed something interesting. During any typical weekday, I lost weight but I would gain weight on the weekends. What was the difference? I noticed that on the weekends, I didn’t do much housecleaning and my loving husband would buy take-out food (he doesn’t want me cooking, lol). Oh, I also wake up around 11 a.m. and stay in bed for as much time that I want. I think I was oblivious to this lazy pattern for so long, because I felt that I deserved it. I know that I definitely don’t deserve the weight-gain, so now what. I’ll admit it…I think it’ll be difficult breaking this habit.

Habits are tricky! It’s hard to get into good habits, but so difficult to get rid of bad ones!

Being a parent means assuring that our kids obtain good habits, especially for school. I just came to a shocking realization how bad my procrastination habit has been passed down to my oldest. She’s a great girl. Usually, she gets top grades but recently her grades have been suffering. I feel that I’ve been taught a lesson in humility. I feel that I want her to emulate my husband and me. I expect her to have a great life without struggling too much. I feel that my flaws have hinder her. So now what…again! Get over myself!!!

I know that we’re not perfect, but just got to keep on trying!

Good news though…since we’ve taken procrastination and kicked it to the curb, she’s doing much better now. She has a Science Fair Project and we’re almost done with it. I feel confident that she will succeed. I feel that we can’t do things in life on our own…we need to rely on others.

TODAY’S LESSONS:

* Bad habits are a part of a pattern

* Catch the pattern and work to break it.

* Habits, like procrastination, can be broken, but sometimes we need others to help us.

* Don’t dwell on the bad things in your life…sooo not worth it.

* See life in a more positive light with a new beginning.

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171 days left

Day 194

I’m back! It’s been quite a month. It seems that we all decided to get the flu one after the other. I had to keep my oldest one home from school for two days. She got me sick, but I got better quickly. Then, my youngest daughter got it, but it was worse for her so she stayed home for four days. I got sick again, and I WAS trying to recover. My son got sick, but his immune system is stronger. I’m still sniffling around trying to get things done, but I’m glad that we are almost done with this flu. I’ve learned to carry tissues and a small hand sanitizer. Please be on the offensive when it comes to your health. Too many germs when kids are around! YUCK!!!

On a happier note, my husband and I have made our Annual-Las Vegas-Wedding Anniversary-Spring Break-Trip….woo hoo! We were planning on taking our kids with us, like we did last year, but they opted NOT to go. They told us that they could do without all that smoke. I was so excited to hear them decline our offer. I love them, but it’s always to getaway with my hubbie, especially to Vegas. It’s my only time that I can hang out with him with no worries. We get to drink, stay out all night, and just focus on each other (if you know what I mean, lol). We ALWAYS have such fond memories when we go there. Yes, sometimes we lose our money but it’s only money (we only gamble what we plan to lose). What I cherish the most is trying new places to eat, to visit, and it’s always nice when we DO win. For examle, last year I won almost a $1,000 in one night…talk about awesome! I used that money to take my little ones shopping, we ate at nice restaurants, and thanked God for the blessings. Oh, we also renewed our vows there a few years ago. Great memories!

Talking about great memories, I’ve been forgetting to capture those awesome family moments via photo. I’ve taken many individual and pair pics, but it’s hard to get them all in one frame without ruining the moment. We’ve been going out to eat a lot, but haven’t been out for real entertainment…maybe when the weather gets better.

I have so many projects going on in my head that I need to start organizing myself much better. I’ve even forgotten my checklists. Projects are great, but not when they aren’t planned out properly. Valentine’s Day is over and one project that I have in mind is getting my kids ready for St. Patrick’s Day. I don’t want my little ones coming home complaining that they got pinched…OUCH! I think I need to do some sort of holiday-project-calendar. I think I’m going to need a binder for all my projects, lol.

Let me see what needs to be part of my checklist:

> Holiday-Project-Calendar

> Dentist/Doctor/etc & Appointments Calendar

> My son’s IEP goals for his school

> Photography

> Cleaning/Organizing Schedule

> Birthday Calendar/Timeline…hmmm haven’t decided which to do

And so many more……can you imagine what my mind must look like, and this is just a list of the subgroups and NOT my entire list. I think I drive myself crazy at times.

TODAY’S LESSONS:

* Stay organize, but plan it out

* When it comes to germs, be prepared!

* Time away from the kids is GREAT for your marriage.

* Take time to enjoy life and don’t forget to capture it on film.

* Checklists are awesome, lol!!!

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192 days left

Day 173

These 365 days seem to be getting slower, but it will soon be over. What would have I accomplished? We live our lives day by day that life just passes us by. I don’t want my life to be meaningless. I’ve been doing a lot of deep thinking, and I’ve been getting pretty spiritual. I guess I’m always asking the question that everyone has asked at least once in their life. Why am I here? What great purpose was I created to do and be or whatever?

I’ve had a pretty messed up life, so where does that put me. Well, if I begin to look back then I know that I’ll just end up getting myself all depressed and emotional. Yeah, I don’t want to do that. The question then becomes what have I learned from all my sufferings? I know that I have made many mistakes regarding every kind of decision that I’ve made. I feel that my face has gotten pretty comfy with the ground, since I’ve ended up there so many times from falling. I guess humility is a major characteristic greatly imbedded in my being. I’m learning to think of others whenever I have to make a decision, and it’s not easy. Sometimes, I REALLY want to be selfish and just think of myself. Then…I realize that after attaining years of wisdom in this area that I rather not be selfish because it will only hurt me. Whenever I ever do anything for others out of kindness of my heart my life seems to thrive with happiness.

Selfishness is awesome for only that very short moment in life when you feel yourself above others, but it is short-lived. It’s like craving a bag of chips. You know you shouldn’t have any of it. You open it….and YUM…so delicious! Yes, pure happiness! You just want to indulge in it but for how long. It is only a matter of time that you over do it with the chips that guilt…and maybe a stomache…kicks in and the consequences are right there to put you back on track. So not worth it! Wanting to only satisfy yourself isn’t all that. I rather deny myself just of those selfish cravings and have the joy that comes from being there for others. Yeah, maybe others may disagree but I’ve fallen too many times to think otherwise.

Wow, I didn’t realize that this post was going to be all that deep. When I logged on all I thought was updating my blog with the events that have occurred to me this month. Sorry, but I had to stop myself halfway through myself inner ranting. I don’t like being a boring person and when I rant like that it just want to tell myself, “blah, blah, stop jabbering on already.” I guess I like to think of the more positive aspects of my life right now.

Back to life: My oldest daughter is on a field trip today. I have my son’s IEP tomorrow. My youngest daughter is finally losing her baby teeth. I was just offered a nanny position by my friend…I’ll be meeting the little man today. He’s about 5 weeks old. We just did our taxes and I’ll be able to pay back my debt. We even have enough to go on our annual-spring break-wedding anniversary Vegas trip. Life is in our home is beginning to flourish. Happy times!

I’ve been thinking that these happy times need to be captured and be embraced while there here. One of my goals this year is capture those moments by photography. I need to take photos of my little ones and my family’s joyful moments and document them by month. It’s always nice to see how we’re all growing, physically and emotionally.

TODAY’S LESSONS:

* Learn to think of others.

* Don’t dwell on the past, but learn from it.

* Humility over selfishness usually wins.

* Multi-task…help others and be happy!

* Savor your happy moments, and share them.

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215 days left

Day 150

Yay! Kids are back in school. I love them but I also love my routines. My place is worse off now because everyone was home for the holidays. Now that everyone is back to their regular schedule, it’s my turn to get back in trying to lose weight and to making my home awesome. Ask me how I’m going to get this accomplished and I can honestly tell you…I don’t know, lol. I just now that I have a lot of work cut out for me.

I think I just have to figure a routine in which I can tackle one corner and one pound at a time. Who says stay-at-home moms don’t do any work. Trust me…there is always stuff to do when you want a happy home. Yes, I can be lazy and not do much, but I would be falling back into my bad habits. Procrastination!! Yuck!!! It has become a 10-letter bad word for me, lol. I dread it so much that the thought of it just stresses me out.

Stress is so bad for me…I eat when I stress out. So it’s like this…

Procrastinate–>Stress out–>Over eat–>Gain weight–> Get depressed–>…and back to Procrastinating.

It’s an awful cycle!

It becomes vital for me to tackle procrastination, because it just doesn’t end well. I also got to remember that I’m not the only one affected by this cycle. My kids, husband, my sisters, other family, and even my social network gets affected. I used to get a lot of invites to Happy Hour, a night out with the girls, or just hanging out with family/friends. I would get so embarrassed of my weight that I kept making excuses and now I don’t get invited anywhere. I’ve become so isolated that it even scares me to leave my place. Sometimes, I feel like a hermit of some kind. I know that no one deserves this, including myself. Procrastinating has caused a great deal in my weight gain and depression, and I just can’t allow it any longer.

I think the plan for right now is….little by little….step-by-step….and maybe before my 365 days are up, then I’ll have my life right on track!

TODAY’S LESSONS

* Routines are awesome!

* Procrastination is what?….AWFUL!!!

* Find the factors that trigger your bad habits.

* Tackle or make a plan on how to get rid of those bad habits.

* Take small steps on overcoming your struggles.

* Remind myself…I deserve better!!!

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