255 days left

DAY 110

I’ve been stressing out so much and it’s driving me crazy. When we first move into our new place, I didn’t think it would take me so long to organize my place. I also didn’t think it would be so difficult making the transition. I had gotten sick back in October and I’m almost better. The moment I think I’m getting better I push myself to do more and I relapse. I’ve been trying to take it easy, so I won’t get sick again. My body has gotten used to giving up whenever I stress out…and I’m not meaning a simple cough and sneeze, it’s a full-blown fever, body aches, along with earaches. It completely takes me out! I stress…I get sick. I slow down…I get better. The problem with slowing down is triggering my one big flaw…procrastination…which gets me even more stress out. I feel like I’m being pulled from all sides and I can’t win.

I know that I should listen to my body and slow down and relax. On the other hand, my mind is all jumbled up and my to-do list is piling up. I’m even beginning to take my worries into my dreams. I have trouble sleeping, so I’m tired all the time. My body aches from it all. The procrastinator inside of me just wants to give up, but I told myself that this year would be different. It’s so hard!

My to-do list is getting longer by the minute. I have to make all the changes with some state agencies, still get a job, apply for my teaching credential classes again (for next year), apply for winter/spring classes a.s.a.p., and on top of it all finish unpacking. My kids’ schedules are also keeping me busy…go here, go there. I’m getting calls from a collections agency for the tuition that I still owe. Oh and when I get stressed out…I eat! I’m stressing out, overly eating, so gaining weight again…definitely not good for my self-esteem.

I’ve always been the type of person that hates excuses, especially when I begin to make my own list of them. I need a plan! I’m really getting fed up with myself and I have to be determined to better my life. I guess the first step is sit down and write my to-do list (and not have it only in my head). I need to post it on a wall so everyone can see it, forcing me to be accountable. What else!? I don’t have any other ideas but I guess baby steps. I think I’ll just have to keep my fingers crossed.

Life is definitely NOT easy! I’m only 1/4 of the way to accomplish my goal with this blog and I feel like that saying…take one step forward then take two steps back. I don’t feel like I’ve gotten very far, but time will only tell.


* Make a plan…write down my to-do list and post it!

* Find a balance between mind and body.

* Hmmm…don’t forget to ask for help!

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