301 days left

DAY 64

I’m so behind my posts. I guess I have two reasons why: Procrastination and being busy.

Emotionally, it’s been getting better with my husband. I’m trying to stay positive but at the same time have my guard up. He’s been very sweet and caring towards me but through past experiences I have to expect him to blowup on me. I’m just glad that he’s trying really hard to change.

My mind has also been preoccupied with my dad’s death. I’ve been trying to ignore those images but certain things triggers those memories and emotions. I find myself pushing my depression as far away as possible.

What else? My kids…my kids have kept me so busy. I’ve been going back and forth to their schools. My son has emotional trauma from being bullied last year. Luckily, he has a teacher that is putting so much effort in helping him cope and communicate more effectively. My oldest daughter on the other hand has been doing amazing at school. So far she’s been awarded with three school field trips and it’s just the beginning. I told her that doing good in school would pay off and it’s true in her case. She keeps bringing me scholarship applications and her school is so active towards introducing her to different colleges.

I’ve been teaching my little sister to drive, so she can get her license. The one thing that worried me the most was my niece’s trip to the emergency room. Apparently, she was recently diagnosed with vertigo, at the age of 15. Typical teenager, she didn’t feel to take her medication and fainted hitting her head on the ground. I was always aware of vertigo, but never associated it with children. There are so many causes to vertigo. It’s summer and she loves to swim. Sometimes, she gets a swimmer’s ear or something like that. I’m hoping to get as much information and educating my kids. I just don’t want them freaking out and getting traumatized if she gets an episode like she did this week.

I never realized how much someone can experience in a short amount of time until you break it down. Not only are there the physical part to it, going here and there, but the emotional toll that you take in. I think it all has to do with balancing everyone and everything. I’ve also noticed how much patience is needed to keep your cool and how lacking I am with that quality. I think get easily frustrated when time goes by and I can’t fix things. I can’t stop being sad over my dad. I can’t get my kids into a new home. I can’t help my family out. So many things out of my control that drive me crazy and I have little or no control. I think I put to much in my plate making me realize that I might need a support team.

TODAY’S LESSONS:

*Learn patience…in every form.

*Manage my tasks with the help of others.

*STOP procrastinating! ;D

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