323 days left

DAY 42

Still no change! I’m dreading the weekend, because my husband will be home. It’s very uncomfortable to have him home when he’s this upset. He decided to come home very late at night, and I almost thought that he had decided to move out already. I texted him and asked him if he wasn’t coming home, then I would need to let the kids know. I’ve always tried to tell my kids the truth. No need to make-up lies why parents are not together. I will admit that it’s very difficult to be positive when speaking about him around my kids. I’m so mad and disappointed! I think his choice is the coward’s way out.

A marriage, any marriage, especially a happy one is not an easy thing to acquire and to keep. It’s hard, very hard work! I’ve learned to check myself and to keep trying, but apparently he hasn’t, or isn’t willing, to acknowledge this. There are so many questions running through my head! He has made up his mind to leave me….making me a single parent. I’ll be an unemployed mother of three…Now, where does this leave me? I’ll tell you…moneyless! My heart is hurting and I want to run to him and scream at him. What’s that saying…to add salt to the wound…to make matters worse: I received a call from a collections agency that I owe money.

There was a time when I was the bread-winner. I was the one with the good paying job. I paid the rent and bills, and I had no worries. I feel that I’ve been pushed down the stairway of success all the way to step one. I strongly believe in that saying, “Everything happens for a reason” but I’m confused right now. I need my fairy-godmother to bail me out. Nothing has EVER been easy for me. I’ve always been pushed down, and had to fight to stay alive, then I get pushed down and up I go again. I just think ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!

TODAY’S LESSONS:

*Stay positive even hope isn’t around!

*Be honest with children without bad-mouthing a parent.

*Push forward!

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