Secrets! Secrets, deceptions, and/or twisted truths can NOT be, under any circumstances should NOT belong in a marriage! Sometimes, a couple gets lost in their own truths that they get accustomed to bending the truth until it gets lost. The truth can be about who they’ve become, what they might be doing, or about what life they’re living. A couple can live with each other for so long, and have gone through so much in their relationship that they use denial to hold on to a life that no longer belongs to them. It’s like they have become two other people. It’s hard to step back and analyze yourself and the relationship without seeing a reality that doesn’t reflect their desired destiny.
My lows…I received a call from my cousin’s wife today. Recently, they’ve become distant, almost on the verge of divorce. Their marriage and mine are almost similar. I’ve heard both sides to their stories, but find it difficult to side with either one. I understand each other’s point of view but don’t wish to get involved. I find it sort of frightening to see their struggles, and the consequences to their actions. It’s almost like seeing my marriage through a looking glass. It’s all twisted and none of it makes sense. It makes me more determined to grab on to the hope that marriage is worth fighting for. They chose to hold on to past transgressions and become bitter and suspicious towards each other. It was only last year that I almost took their same path, but we had decided on making it work. It wasn’t just for the kid’s sake, but for OUR sake’s too. Even if life’s struggles can be so tempting to bring out the worst in us we know that we have a love that it’s worth fighting for. It’s scary to think that we could’ve been them right now. So much hurt can fuel your determination to bring vengeful actions to your “so-called love of your life.” How do you go from loving them so much, agreeing to ‘till death do us part, to ripping each other’s heart and stomping on it to a pulp? Determination and hard-work is so essential in a marriage…Don’t you think?
My high…spending time with my husband and kids. We went out to run some errands, and ate out. I just love our time together. I think every family needs it. I know that the kids get frustrated being at home, and going out takes out some of the tension away. Even if it’s running errands, being cooped up get very stressful to the point of getting in each other’s nerves. We’ve been accustomed to getting out of the house at least once a week. It helps build a close family-relationship and memories. Marriage is about involving each other in every aspect of each other’s lives and embracing it with all our heart, and not opposing it.
*Remind yourself why you fell in love in the first place.
*Take time to make family memories.